eHarmony Offering Discount. Must Start Dating.

Well, not me.  I am married.  But my writing partner and fellow Dainty Grenadier contributor Kate is single and has decided to take advantage of eHarmony’s “3 months for the price of 1″ discount.  And lucky for me (and for all of you), Kate has bravely granted me access to her profile so that I can “pick” the men she will go on dates with.  And since this experiment is far too fascinating to keep between just she and I, we both decided to share the horny details with all of you.  We will of course keep the actual men’s identities private, but the actual dates and details of the lead up to the date will be disclosed on The Dainty Grendadier in a series we are affectionately calling “KATE DATES”.

So without further ado… Here is Kate… 

KATE DATES

My eHarmony profile picture. Taken with a camera on self timer in my living room.

When I first put a condom in my purse, I felt like a proud, single female. Dang proud.  That was three years ago.  Now instead of a testament to my responsibility, it’s turned into a mockery of my non-existence sex life.  It’s been in there so long I had to check the expiration date – December 2011.  Six months from now. And counting.  The condom was new when I put it in my purse, along with my hopes for a Sex and the City lifestyle.  However, now after three years of growing up and life experience, the prospect of having sex with a stranger is not so appealing to me anymore.  At all.  People are filthy and I don’t like strangers in my apartment.   But nonetheless, I feel like six months (and counting) is now my deadline to have some kind of romantic encounter.  A real one too.  And the dentist accidentally grazing my breast with his forearm during a checkup does not count.   No matter how turned on I get.

So how does one meet people in 2011?  The Internet of course.

I am now an official paying dues member of the online dating community, aka: the virtual meat market.  About three years ago when I was newly single I tried one of the free sites.  The first guy that I communicated with was over instant message and the very first thing he asked me was what I was wearing.  And I honest to god at the time was not wearing pants.  But I didn’t tell him that.  Nor did I tell him anything else about me.  I deleted my profile that night.  So my logic this time was that paying $19.99/month would keep out the riff raff, at least some of it.  I hope.  Because shelling out 20 bones to meet people seemed a bit ridiculous considering humans have been finding dates for free since they realized they wanted to have sex with each other.  But another perk from this $20 is I’m supposed to receive matches specified to my exact tastes and preferences.

My match made in internet heaven:

Gender: Male

Race: Half Asian/Half Indian*

Occupation: Aerospace Engineer**

Height: No Preference

Wants Kids: Maybe

Smokes: Never

Drinks: Occasionally

Religion: No Preference

So now that I have finished my profile and my information is out in the Internet ether, it’s Britt’s turn to observe my interaction with the various matches eHarmony has provided.  And from there, she will advise me on who to have an in-person encounter with.

Have any of you ever Internet dated?  What are some of the challenges you have encountered?  Anyone out there been successful?

*This exact race was not a choice, so I selected Asian and Indian and Other

**Selecting an occupational preference was not a choice, but you can see what occupation your match has in their profile